The Heaviest Matter of the Universe - Gojira

Lay down fall away
Lie awake
Just cannot move
My arms and legs
I'm paralyzed
Don't recall how to free
Myself from this
In the heart of the dark
My face contorted
Don't know how to
Reach the light
But I feel so bad
Like a freak in a cage

Open the door
Enter your heart
You go so far

Golden unworldly silence
Space flight at speed of light
I cross the clouds and colours
The black hole is calling me
I slide on the horizon
On the frontier not to cross

Black dwarf
Time's gone distorted
In the heart of the dark
A whirl of light

Enter in
The realm of nothingness
I fell the cold, my eyes are shut
My fear is slowly dying
Light years from here
Are my thoughts and cages
I can hear their moan
But now a long deep breath
Is calling

Overtaking time
And now understanding space
I feel united
I do cross light
I feel the living
Here in the center
Stands the light of love
That never can be touched
From greater silence
Shall return
==========



Mostly listening to Gojira and Lamb of God these days. As far as "heavy" bands go they really couldn't be more different. Gojira very groove oriented and with positive, hippy-ish lyrics and Lamb of God more thrashy with lots of solos and very angry/political lyrics. Oh I guess I should throw the Into Eternity album Buried in Oblivion on the list, progressive death metal band, and the album is basically 10 songs about depression.

Aren't I happy?!

PS. check out the song above on my myspace page.

4 AM

Long time no post, so lets KISS*

Why is music the language that I prefer. I don't think everyone does. And boy am I glad. Because if everyone sang as much as I do, it would get old. Not to mention that there are so many people who are tone deaf...I just shuttered in my chair thinking about a tone deaf choir, welcome to my head.

But it's not just that I sing.

I think that my emotions are revealed a lot better in the CD that is in my player in my car than by small interactions with me. I think that I let my guard down when I listen to music because it speaks to my: pain, frustration, joy, goofiness, longing, etc. So in no particular order, here is what I have been listening to:

Weird Al -
Straight Outta Linwood

Evanescence -
The Open Door

In Flames -
Come Clarity
Soundtrack to Your Escape
Reroute to Remain
Clayman
Colony

Opeth -
Ghost Reveries
Deliverance
My Arms Your Hearse

Five Iron Frenzy -
the entire catalog

KISS* = Keep It Simple Stupid

Spartan

I am, Spartan
close my heart so tight
Jesus
Save me
from myself tonight
--Spartan Five Iron Frenzy

These words have been my words recently. Why that is I don't think I could tell you exactly. Mainly I think that I need to step outside of the self that I have created for me. The self that is afraid and scared. The self that will not allow growth. The self who pretends to have a heart and shows that pretend heart to people, but never ever will let anyone see the real heart. So God here is my prayer:

Destroy My self
and put me back together

put me together the way you did when I was born

Give me the strength to let you do this and let me trust you in the way that you do

And above all thank you for the parts of my self that are already yours

Amen

Every good thing must come to an end

I just wanted to express my enthusiasm for something monumental that will be happening in about 50 days. I hope and pray that you can appreciate the excitement that I feel for this.

If you have been living in a cave here is the news. X men:The Last Stand is coming out in May. That's right. Prof. X, Magneto, Wolverine, Mystique, Angel, Dark Phoenix, Storm, Colossus, Rogue, Kitty Pryde, etc. will be fighting it out.

Also, if you want to here a couple unbelievably awesome songs, check out the Weird Al originals Albuquerque and Hardware Store.

You may now resume your normally scheduled surfing.

Love for all

All your sins can be forgiven
All of this was always free
Jesus loves without condition
This is what freedom means to me
-Five Iron Frenzy "The Cross of St. Andrew"

in a field of yellow flowers
underneath the sun
bluest eyes that spark with lightning
boy with shoes undone
he is young, so full of hope
reveling in tiny dreams
filling up his arms with flowers
right for giving any queen
running to her,beaming bright
while cradling his prize
a flickering of yellow light
within his mother's eyes
she holds them to her heart
keeping them where they'll be safe
clasped within her very marrow
dandilions in a vase

she sees love where anyone else would see weeds
all hope is found, here is everything he needs

fathomless Your endless mercy
weight i could not lift
where do i fit in this puzzle?
what good are these gifts?
not a martyr or a saint
scarcley can i struggle through
all that i have ever wanted
was to give my best to You

Lord search my heart
create in me something clean
...dandelions...
You see flowers in these weeds

gently lifting hands to heaven
softened by the sweetist hush
a Father sings over His children
loving them so very much
more than words could warrant
deeper than the darkest blue
more than sacrafice could merit
Lord, i give my heart to you

Lord search my heart
create in me something clean
...dandelions...
You see flowers in these weeds
-FIF "Dandelions"

That's all for today.

I would like a pair o' ducks

Quantum mechanics are fun.

Now before you all click back or start typing the next destination in the address bar, hear me out.

Basically it comes down to this. When we perform an experiment at the sub atomic level we get a result that is weird. Like a particle is passing through two different slits in a barrier at the same time. But when we observe the slits to see which one the particle actually does pass through we get a completely different result, and we also observe that the particle passes through only one of the slits. Here is a link that explains this much better: What the bleep do we know?

I posted this because I was thinking about something I read on my friend Mike's blog. There is a link on the side if you want to check it out. It's the post called Worthy? and the comments that people have had. It talks about how Jesus was both divine and human.

Maybe the answer to the paradox of Jesus being fully human and God is that Jesus was both, and that we feel things that Jesus didn't because we sin. Jesus was capable of feeling the things that all humans feel. But he didn't because he knew they were false. I am going to leave it at that, mainly because I really have no idea what I am talking about.

Shadow of the Giantor things over my head.

So in the past week I was going to post a couple things, but I decided not to. One was a weird story that had nothing to do with my life, and the other had to do with my faith. Why I chose not to post them I don't know, I think I was afraid of getting negative feedback, which is weird because, pretty much the only people I know who would look here are my friends...end of thought.

So I am a big fan of the book Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card and the other seven novels that have to do with the Enderverse. (The universe in which the novels take place) I just bought and read the latest book and it raised some thoughts. The part that interested me was the goal of one of the main characters to unite the entire world under one government. Not to dissolve nations, but to create a United States of Earth so to speak. So it gets me thinking...

"That's pretty cool", I think.

"Is that what our world is heading towards?"

"Is that possible the way the world works now?"

Then I hit the one that stumps me.

Why are there nations?...I mean I get the centralized government of people and the good that brings. But why do people cling to "their" nation or a national identity. I think the EU is a good step and I think even some west African nations are going to be using the same currency soon. But would America ever become part of the United States of North America with Canada and Mexico?

And then I remember that I am a silly idealist who thinks that everyone would be happier living on a farm and doing a hard days work, instead of worrying about progress, whatever that is. And I remember that in the Enderverse the world has had an alien invasion to unite under and also has the technology to colonize other worlds, which is pretty sweet.

So then I think to myself, "I would jump on a colony ship in a heartbeat."